The Big Woody

O.K I have finally got around to writing a race report! Or more accurately 2/3 of a race report!

Spent the Friday travelling down to the Forest of Dean where we would be camping at the Christchurch campsite. Bumped into Dave and Suzie, and Holgs and Em at the services on the M5 which was a welcome site as it meant they were both well on there way and hadn’t bottled out and decided to stay at home (the sensible option!). Learnt from Holgs the news that he had decided to smack his knee into the fridge the previous night for some reason and it was all strapped up. Not sure what the fridge had done to upset him but lets hope it doesn’t do it again. Is there a single appliance left in his kitchen that hasn’t caused him an accident yet?!!

Spent the afternoon setting the tent up and drove over to race HQ to see Min and to register. I thought I was nervous but Min was on a whole new level! Went and got my race pack – race numbers, chip timing device, numbers for bike and helmet, bags for transition, swim hat, free pair of shades, and various other bits and bobs. It now all seemed very real and I moved up the nervousness graph a few more notches to join Min at the petrified stage!

Went back to Christchurch for a few hours before cycling back to race HQ for the pre-race brief at 7pm followed by the pasta party where I would leave my bike for the organisers to transport to the lake in the morning and my bags in Mins tent. Good to meet up with everyone but didn’t really want to hang around so listened to the brief, had some pasta then retired back to the campsite for the night.

Alarm was set for 3.30am but I woke up at 3am after very little sleep, was panicking in case I slept through it. Had some breakfast and walked the mile to the HQ. It all seemed very surreal walking the streets at 4am with a drink in one hand and something to eat in the other. Normally this would be a bottle of lager and a donner kebab at that time of the morning but in this instance it was a bottle of lucozade sport and a jam barm! Got the coach to the lake at 4.30am, sat with Min but neither of us spoke for the entire journey…words were meaningless by this point!

Have to say I have never been so petrified of an event in my life as I was in the last 90 mins before this event. At one point I was sat outside of transition 1 on the golf course looking at everyone getting ready and I really did think of pulling out it was that bad…thankfully managed to shut the demons up in my head and got ready for the swim.

6.30am – The Swim

After Trev’s pre-swim brief it was into the lake. I was one of the last ones in – didn’t want to appear too keen! The lake was very muddy underfoot and daylight was only just beginning to break through and as I swam to the start the thought occured to me “shit, this is it!” Started near the back and managed to avoid all but a few of the feet and arms smashing into me before I found a bit of space. Got into a rhythm very early on with my stroke and breathing and it felt nice and relaxed. Did one lap of lake 1 and 18 mins later was out of lake 1 for a big smile off Mrs Holgs before running to lake 2 – in hindsight not a good move as my balance wasn’t the best and nearly fell over. It was very steep getting into lake 2 and I flew down the embankment and straight into the lake, standing on a sharp stone in the shallow water as I did. So if anyone heard swearing I apologise! The two laps went past in a bit of a blur and was still feeling good getting into lake 1 again for the last 400m – so good in fact that I overtook two swimmers which is unheard of for me!

Got dragged out of the lake and was greeted by Lunacy for the first of many times that day as she passed me my transition bag. Sat and got ready for the bike in the esteemed company of Emma and Will and saw Holgs as we wished each other luck as he went out on the bike.

Total swim time: 1:10:30 transition time 0:09:00

7.50am – Bike

Went out of transition and immediatley hit the first hill of the day. Hadn’t got the legs properly into bike mode and was severly out of breath by the top – a sign of things to come. Quite a few peeps passed me early on – obviously swimming was their weak event as they looked bloody good cyclists and quickly made ground up on there carbon bikes costing several k’s! It bought a wry smile to my face thinking I was ahead of there dream machines even if only for the first 10 miles! Soon settled into bike mode and things were going well…until we hit English Bichnor for the first time. Hell on Earth! Got the bike on the lowest gear and just had to pump the legs until we reached the top. Or rather what I thought was the top….the two false summits were not funny! The official camerman half way up the last steep bit must have got some funny pictures of faces grimacing in agony!

Got back to race HQ and got a refill of High 5, 16 miles down 96 to go! Welcome relief out of the HQ with 6 miles of downhill, fab to see Emma/Suzie/Sprog 1 and 2 at the sharp right turn where I nearly came off as I was that happy to see you all and not concentrating on the bike! Downhills came to an end and more excruciating hills up through a village, went past lots of sheep and never stopped! Managed to keep moving at a decent speed apart from the odd stop for temporary traffic lights and various junctions but they were never for very long and gave me chance to take on liquid.

Then the problems started. There is a steady climb up to the feed station at approx mile 42 and my legs started to suffer with cramp. Wasn’t too bad but enough to concern me. Got off the bike at the feed station to stretch them (great to see all the gang again supporting!) and carried on. Made it back to English Bitchnor but by now cramps were getting a bit worse. The Pirate supporters half way up did a great job of shouting encouragement and the chalk writing in the middle of a busy road “GO PIRATES GO” and the flag in the tree really got me buzzing again. Flew through race HQ for the second time to wild cheers from the Viking clan meaning one lap to go. Sadly the cramps got worse and was having to stop and stretch more and more but was determined to keep going. Got to the hill leading to the drinks station at mile 92 and the pain was unbearable so got off to stretch. Tried to get back on the bike but couldn’t, every time I did the cramp would kick in again. Tried walking for a bit to loosen the legs and Min went past – told her to keep going and that she would do it. Also said to her I was trying to walk off the cramp but knew deep down my race was finished. Got on the bike one more time and rode about 100 meters but both legs cramped up again and I walked to the feed station and told Trevor I was out. Got a lift back to race HQ. It was longest journey of my life – I was gutted to have let the side down and was dreading seeing family/friends at the finish.

Got to the finish, got a hug off everyone but by this point not only were my legs cramping up but my hip and ribs were as well! I was half expecting to get cramp in my earlobe or teeth next! Heard the great news that Jamie had won the kids duathlon and that both Jamie and Jordan were trying to break the world record for amount of hours spent on a bouncy castle! The bloody woman pummelled my legs to death but it worked because she loosened them up. Had a bacon barm and a cup of tea – hey it wasn’t a medal but I was glad to have them anyway!

After a shower and change back at the campsite I returned to HQ to set up camp at “Pirate corner” where all of the best supporters in the world were gathered to cheer on the runners – Lou, my Mum and Dad, Emma, Lunacy and Will, Suzie, Sprog 1 & 2, and Min’s Mum. It was a priviledge to join you all in cheering people on and your support around that course all day from the early hours onwards was appreciated so much. You all deserve a medal. Thank you. 

Holgs/DTES/Min were all running really well, especially considering what they had been through before it and I never doubted any of them finishing once they made it to the run course.

It was awesome to see Holgs, then DTES, then Min finish – you all had great races and did superbly well on a very very tough course. And Min – 2nd female vet. Wow! That was just the icing on the cake! I am very proud of you guys and it has been a priviledge to train with you all over the last 12 months.

As for Ironman – it is unfinished business. It is the first race in my life I got a DNF. I will get an Ironman medal at some point in the future and that’s a promise.